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&& you won't realize things intill it's too late.

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Yesterday was amazing. [October 4 2007]
 I met this new guy named Logan :) He is a really great guy... & veryy cute. I hung out with him yesterday. We went and played pool. [ I suck by the way but he tried to teach me! ] Thenn we went to the movies.. Then he kissed me goodnight. & that's all i want to sayy about that.. But, Im really starting to like him so far. I am really confused though. Ahh whatever :) 

I really hate most of this shitty life of mine. && I hate when everything is perfect, and it all crashes down.
I hate my sisters boyfriend.
My brother is really starting to piss me off.
I really need a job.
I hate Michigan.
I need to go to school. [ and hopefully this beauty shit is what i will be good at ]
I don't have many good friends these days.
Some people have been here for me, and have made me smile the past few days =]
I really hate my mom's boyfriend. DIEDIEDIE.
I hate my housee.
I hate how people make fun of me for being shy.. ugh
I feel like I am gettin fat. 
I love my dad, and he might have cancer.
I don't knokw what im going to do.
& I hate when people want to talk about you, or start any kind of drama.
I hate how i get into these little stupid depressed moods. fuck.
This thanksgiving & christmas is going to suck.
I hate holidays now!. blahh
My grandma is in the hospital agaiiiin.
Halloween is going to be gay.
I want to go to a cider mill // haunted house with a cute guy:)
I hate myself.
I hate how i am shy.
I hate how nothing ever goes right.
Im so confused.
I don't know why i am like this right now.
I had an amazing time yesterday:)

♥Stop me and steal my breath

[September 28 2007]
I don't care anymore; I have no good friends. I need to make new ones =] seriouslyy.
Im not in highschool anymore ; i don't need to deal with this immature bullshit.
and having people use me; and take advantage of me.
I don't need thaaaat. 

i'll write more laterr.
because now i don't feel like writing in this.
♥Stop me and steal my breath

[September 25 2007]
 I went to visit one of my favorite teachers from High School Yesterday. It was weird at frst, I miss highschool alot. Hah! She was asking if i have a boyfriend, and of course I don't. She was surprised because she said I was so pretty! that any guy would be lucky to have me. =]  
♥Stop me and steal my breath

druken words are sober thoughts. [September 23 2007]
I decided to writre in here again.. & I am a little buzed, alot has been going on... 
So here's the update!

I am starting beauty school as soon as i can. I smoke alot, and drink maybe more then i should. My best friend is Katie. She's the only person who has been here for me. Although, i feel used most of the time! I lost alot of my friends less then a year. & I lost the love of my life also. It's hard to go on somedays, and somedays i feel like everything will get better. I never thought i'd say it, but I miss high school more then ever. & I wish I could re do my senior year, it probally was one of the worst years. The only good thing that has happend in awhile is that I am going to beauty school, and my finanical aid is covering it all. So it will be free and I won't have to pay it back. I have been looking very hard to get a job. More then people think I have been. I have matured alot. I miss alot of my friends. I never talk to Tiffy much anymore. She's too busy with her family now. She said I have changed alot; and she doesn't like it. I don't understand what she means. I have ideas of what she means though. I never used to smoke, or drink. & Now, I do. I used to be against it. I don't really know what has happend to me. I guess I feel as though I lost my world, and there's no point in alot of things. Smoking & Drinking makes me forget my problems. & I know that's not good. I think i tend to push people away from me when i need them the most. Some people call me alot, and i normally ignore there calls. I guess that's one way of pushing them. I don't understand why though. I've been hurt, and heart broken for awhile now. I can't get forget on how i feel. Nothing ever makes sence. My family is the most important thing to me these days.

My sister and brother are my bestfriends. AND i live in this house with someone i don't trust anymore!.. I wish I could kill my moms boyfriend. I will never like him in a million years. I wish I could tell my sister what happend. It's really hard to even think about it. I love my sister so much. She's the greatest, and she doesn't deserve to be in any pain. I think that I have changed alot!. I tend to get annoying at times, because sometimes i can't stop thinking about something. I am proud of myself though, I honestly hate this kid Jeff, and he wanted me to come over probally so he can fucking molest me=(.. like he did once before. I told him, straight up that I don't like him like that, and I don't want anything to do with him. I feel bad for even talking to him..because of the past. I feel sick to my stomach everytime i think about what has happend. Blah!. I feel like i've been getting fatt. I should stop smoking. It's not good. Alot of people latley tend to walk over me, and take advantage of me. I plan to move to Las Vegas, and I want to as soon as i can to run away from my problems. I never have any one to really talk to about how i am feeling, or no one really cares to listen. Maybe that's why im venting in here. I honestly don't care if anyone wants to read this. This journal is very old. I've had it for a long time, it's crazy what I used to write in here. I can't belive i don't talk to Derek anymore. I miss him, he was sweet and always made me laugh. My best friend Mike makes me laugh alot too these days, but he does tend to be a jerk sometimes too. His friend Mike is pretty cute. I hung out with Matt lupan a few times, and I realized alot. I mean he is really cute! but I don't like him more then a friend. He was always there for me when i'd come to class crying after lunch. So he is a good guy! I hate that i cried alot my senior year. I've had my ups & downs, I feel like my whole world just fell apart the day kyle stoped having feelings for me.. He sort of kept pushing me away. I tended to be more obessive then i ever thought i'd be. I am never obessived over a boy. I missed him, and wanted him so much that I got annoying about it. I never acted that way when we were together!.. I honeslty can say, that i love him. & He'll always remain in my heart. I don't even want to go there, and start talking about him and how much i miss him.. 

I found out my dad might have cancer. I don't know what im going to do. He is my life, and I love him so much! I am a huge daddys girl!. I already lost someone I love, but he didn't even die and im hurt. I couldn't imagine anything happing to my dad. Life works in mysterious ways.. and The say, everything happens for a reason. I guess I have to learn and grow from my mistakes, and take one step at a time day by day.  I could probally go on and on, there are so many things going threw my head right now. & I just wish that i could get another chance at happiness. I have changed alot, i will admit. I got my lip periced the other day. So now, i have 8 pericings.. & One day, hopefully i'll have a tattoo. I don't understand how I am so nice to people, and it always hits me in the face. I would do anything to make someone else happy. Although, no one cares on how im feeling. I don't really know what has happend. What's going on in other peoples heads. I wish he would give me the time of day, to show him i am a better person, i feel as if im not good enough, or pretty enough. I try to stick up for what i want, and belive. I don't want to be like anyone else, I want to be myself and im trying to figure out who that is. I want to live my life, and have fun with it. I don't want to sit at home, and waiste my life away. I want to go out there and I want to experience life. & I wish i could go out there, with the one i love. 

I will definatly update this more.
AND hopefully you'll see, that you and i are meant to be.

hold my hand wipe away the tears.

Hold my hand help me fight my fears.

Come with me walk this way.

i need you to stay.

Forget yesterday and forget about the pain.

im scared to ever lose you forever and to be here all alone.

every day without you i try to ecscape the pain.

my heart needs time to mend becuz now the cuts are getting deep and i feel lifeless n dead.

So save me from yesterday, tomorrow, and today.

♥Stop me and steal my breath

[June 22 2007]

it's crazy how life changes before your eyes, you think everything is perfect.. but it comes crashing down on you. 
No one is going to read this, but I don't care. This is for me. It's been almost 2years sence i last wrote in this..

Kyle broke up with me, and we dated for 1yr & 1/2. which was amazing.. but, i never thought i would lose him, and i couldn't imagine my life w/ out him.. but now, i have to. He's gone, pretty much out of my life. We still talk,which it really kills me inside.. I still love him more then ever. I honestly think he is my soulmate.. and  i need him. He's like my air, i can't breath with out air.. and now im dying, because he's not there. 

We went threw so much shit together, and i thought we would make it. Sure, he's 16.. i'm 18.. were young but we were in love. we didn't care about anybody else. It was just him & I.

I did lose my virginity to him, it was amazing. and, i still have sex with him. although, he has a girlfriend. I know, im getting used. I just want him to be with him.. it's never going to happen. It makes me want to cry and go all emo thinking about him.

It's a hard decsion, to be his friend or not.  It hurts either way. I can't stand not talking to him, but sometimes its hard to be around him or look at his myspace sence he has a girlfriend now.

i just really hope they don't last...  and, i think he doesnt' know what he wants. he's confused. i am right her ein front of his face, sure i fucked up big time before.. but, i know i won't ever again.. but his girlfriend lives too far to see all the time. I just hate it!..

I can't even explain how im feeling right now. i want him, i need him, i love him!.. he was the greatest thing that has EVER happend to me.. and im lost with out him. he was my entire world, and now my world is broke into a million peices.. 

I miss him, i miss us. We were the cutest couple ever.. and i still think we are cute together.........but shit now im just fucking up MY life..

I've been smoking weed alot, getting drunk, and i have done some drugs. I don't see the point in living anymore..

Kyle is an asshole to me, and i remember he'd be mean to everyone BUT me.. and now, he's mean to me. He makes me cry all the time, and i feel like shit! 24/7..  but i still love him more then anything, because when im with him.. everything seems perfect.. intill he leaves, i know that it's not perfect. life is all fucked up.. and it's confusing and no one understand... 

I would give anything to be with him again, and start over. 

i will love him forever. no matter what.. he will always have my heart!!!!!!!!!!!! and i just want things to go back to normal!..

♥Stop me and steal my breath

IT'S BEEN FOOOREVER.=[ [September 6 2006]
[ mood | bored ]

It has been almost a whole year sence the last time I have written in this, I guess that's because I guess livejournals are so not cool anymore, haha.=] But i'm super bored and feel like writing in this.<33

I'll tell you about my life what's been going on.=]

Family has been going pretty good actually, my sister and her boyfriend have moved in with us, which was really exciting and they are always tehre for me to just talk to and plus my sister is my bestfirend & i love her! my whole family is great.

Its kinda depressing sometimes how fast you lose your friends.=[  buuuut CONGRATS TO MY BESTEST FRIEND, she's 5months prego with a baby girl, it's going to be sucha a beautiful baby, i cant wait to see her. =D, she's not going to school with me anymore which is really depressing.. and all my other friends i barely talk to. && Katie is moving to florida..... so it will be very differnt. but i love all my friends. they are all sweeet.

today was actually the 2nd day of my SENIOR YEAR! omg, i can't belive it..... i'm finally a fucking a senior, i've waited my whole life for this to just graduate and i only have a year. this year so far of what i can tell will be alright, i mean i don't got tiff.. but i made a few new friends actually.. but i figure, in college i won't know anyone so i should get usto it.. you know? but hopefully this year will be a good one, and i'm sure it will sence it's my last year!

it's pretty amazing, i'm still with the same boy, & it's been 13moths! a whole year & 1month=D it's really awesome, i love that boy to death, he is aboustley everything to me.. and i'd be lost with out him. we are going to be together forever!!!.. i hope.=D no other boy can compare. other boys suck. hahaha no offence if you are one.

I thought i would have more to say, i guess not. lol

I bet no one will read this though. but it was fun anyways... hehe

I'm going to go now.

always & foreverr

♥Stop me and steal my breath

LOOOONG time<3 =] [February 7 2006]

Wow, its been a really long sence i last updated this darn thing. Basically, no one hardly ever goes on it anymore. Its mostly MYSPACE now or xanga. which i have both, but I kinda miss LJS. but whatever, so i'll update on whats been going on. =]

:: School ::

I can't belive it, im a junior. I actually like school this year for plenty of reasons, i have great classes w/ my friends in all of them except, 2nd hr. theres about 5 people in there, including me & i don't talk to anyone. But my bestfriend Tiffany is in basically all my classes except 2,3. its pretty sweet. 3rd hr i have katie,amy & meghan.=] & i've been doing pretty good, except in english. I just hate it. well, i did when i had Mr. Madison only cuz  i could never consentrate! i was always talking to matt. LOL so yeah, schools good. EXCEPT, i have to do community service before i graduate, because i need that so i can graduate!

:: Friends ::

its been rough. But, this year i've gotten so much closer to this girl Tiffany who i've known sence 9th grade, so basically we're bestfriends.=] I LOVE HER!   but then theres my other friends :: Amy,ashley,katie,amanda,brian,snyder....... who basically NEVER talk to me. & there my only friends, yeh.. i hardly have any.... but my two bestfriends EVER! are my sister, & tiffany! I swear, they both are really great friends to me && are ALWAYS there for me=] but i sure do miss my old friends. =[

:: Guys ::

Theres only one guy in my life<3 & thats my wonderful boyfriend kyle & we've been together for 6months & almost a week. we've been dating sence, August 2nd, 2005<3 he is absoutley the best thing that has ever happend me. so yeah, ive fallen in love & its great. =] & this love will NEVER end! I LOVE HIM W/ ALLL MY HEART! & every other guy that has ever mis treated me, & i usto like.. FUCK YOU! i just wish i could kick them in their balls! i swear, im soooo extremely happy im over all of you. & i've found the most greatest boyfriend ever! & now, its your loss!

:: Family ::

Things with my family are alright. Theres been some rough bumps that just came in & now my parents just don't trust me & its hard. BUT, my sister & i are absoutley great because we're bestfriends & yeah shes 23.. but we just can talk about anything. & i love her boyfriend Joe also, hes like one of the greatst big brothers ever. & then, yeah my brother & i fight once in awhile.. but we're doing fine. So i guess, family is alright. i cried a few times because of them, but i always have my "husband" kyle, yep thats right. well, were not married yet. but one day.. =]

Things are great, i guess. i mean.. i've had ups & downs all year. depressed & happy.. non stop. & basically, it sucks! but i finally found someone who understands me & everything & is there for me no matter what, most of the time.. hes the only person i have.. & will allways b there for me.

okay, im thinking thats all i have to say.

Leave me comments, if you end up readin this. BUT, i doubt it! =]



i love kyle joshua schwartz<3


♥Stop me and steal my breath

[November 27 2005]
[ mood | bored ]

holy cow, looooong time sence ive written in this damn thing. no one ever reads/or writes in livejournals anymore. MYSPACE is the big thing now. LoL im addicted to myspace, & I also write in xanga alot. but whatever.. anyways..

Things have been greeeat.♥

  • Friday is mine & Kyles 4 months&♥December 2nd. Yess, im still with him. & happier then EVER! I am madley in love with him. Im his wife, so his dad calls me. heh, i like the sound of it. I do want to spend foorever with him&♥
  • Schools been going pretty good. I think im doing alot better then last year.
  • Ive gotten alot closer with Tiffany, & Amanda. I love them, Tiffany & I are now best friends!
  • I also love Amy, shes awesome. & soo nice, & i can talk to her about alot of things. so were best friends.
  • Things with everyone in the family is good except.. mom, & me & ryan!

some things aren't that great....

  • Ashley & Katie, we've kinda drifted apart it seems like, well mostly ashley. it seems were not friends really. I miss them like.. alot!
  • I really don't hang out with any of my friends, im always with kyle.
  • My mom seems to think she has no family & takes it out all on me.
  • Ryan calls me a huge fat liar, & belives rachel over me. that stupid fucking whore, i hate her.
  • Brian has changed...& it sucks.


I think things are pretty great because, i have Kyle&♥ & thats all that really matters to me anymore. Hes the only one whos ever there for me now, & cares about me alot. & loves me. & I love him with all my heart. latley we've been talking about the future & stuff, & whats going to happen. & we are going to be together forever. I love that feeling.

So yess, Christmas is in like 1month & Im surper excited. I can't wait, I love it. & I hope i get to spend a little bit with Kyle, the other day was Thanksgiving. & Kyle came with me to my Aunts. I hope that will be are tradition now, is going to my familys house. because i like going there. so yes..

I don't know what else to say. Its 1:03AM soo maybe i should get some sleep,

Kyle comes home from upnorth tommarrow, Im so happy. I miss him, I haven't seen him in 2days. doesn't that suck.. i miss him before he even leaves, so i can't wait to be in his arms forever.&hearts;

well Goodbye everyone.


I love Kyle Joshua Schwartz with all my heart♥


♥Stop me and steal my breath

everything is great. [September 24 2005]
[ mood | tired ]

wow i haven't updated this in awhile. So i thought what the heck maybe i should. Not that anyone reads its much cuz i write in my xanga alot.

But Anyways

Everything thats been going on. I guess

  • I have a job now. At quiznooos. lol today was only my 3rd day but so far ive made 100$ thats so freakin awesome b-cuz i neeeed money, im gonna save to buy a car. woohoo.
  • I am in love with Kyle. Next sunday October 2nd will be are 2 months<3 Thats so awesome its my longest realationship lol
  • School is gay, and i hate it. But im glad im a Junior and i hope this year goes by fast so ill b a SENIOR.woooohooo

All i do now, is either work or hang out w/ Kyle. and i try to hang out w/ the guuurls. Which of course i do. like we still go cruzin fridays but the weekends Kyles at his dads i hang out w/ him all night. cuz Kyles at his dads every other weekend. his mom is weird, so i don't get to hang out w/ Kyle that much sometimes after school but now that i have work i can't somedays.;But the times i get to hang out w/ him is the most awesome time. like i seriously think we are perfect for each other.hes seriously not like ANY other guy he treats me so much better then any other guy actually anybody. and thats what the most important thing is and that he makes me extremely happy. and that he don't pressure me to do anything i don't want to do. like kissing him, he wouldn't break up w/ him if i don't. well duh i still haven't kissed him and he hasn't broke up w/ me. hes not like jamie cuz thats why he broke up w/ me lol im glad. All my friends love him for that reason to. and they are happy for me that i have him, they can see how much he makes me happy and they say how cute we look together. =]

and he tells me how much he loves me. and what he loves about me. he told me he loves everything about me. and i thought its just something about me after awhile guys just don't like,& cuz i don't see how you can just not like someone. like this one kid said he liked me but then like said he didn't like me after awhile. idk him. but whatever i have kyle and im happy.

ANYWAYS im tired.

So think im juss gonna end it here. Soooooo


I love Kyle Schwartz with all my heart<33

♥Stop me and steal my breath

[September 2 2005]

Happy 1 month to me and Kyle<33 August 2nd,2005

I love you hunnie<3 You make me soo happy.

♥Stop me and steal my breath

[August 27 2005]

why do i even bother writing in here when i write in my xanga, welll i guess i write in here because my friends look in here and my boyfriend looks in xanga. but whatever, when i get bored I like to write things thats on my mind. and i don't care if no one reads it. I write in here for me, no one else.. to get all my anger and emotions out. Soo


Things have been great at times, like yesterday.well it started out a pretty good day, i was in a good mood cuz it was beautiful outside, and i went to the mall w/ the gurls. and i drove and yea i was at the mall for 5hours cuz my car wouldn't start, well i was inside the mall for like 3hours, then i was outside in the parkin lot trying to get my car working, i had to call my dad, then my dad called Joe then Ashley called her brother and everyone came up to the mall to try to fix it, Then i got super happy when Kyle called and i didn't talk to him all day or much of the day before. Then i got home around 9 and then Kyle and Tommy came over (his friend, that i just met yesterday) then Amy came over. and wejust hung out at my house, and this is the reason why i love my boyfriend. I got upset and started to cry, well i was outside by myself for bout an hour... thinking like no one even cares cuz no one came outside or w/e.. but that wasn't the reason i was crying, I was just upset things id just rather not talk bout, so Kyle came outside and sat w/ me huged me and made sure i was okay, and kept askin what was wrong and i just wasn't talking. but all night he was worried, and i was shakin cuz i was cold so hes like c'mon lets go in. so we sat on the couch and i just layed on him and huged him tight. I was in the worst mood but he made me feel better, he made me feel like everything is going to be alright. then he said bye to me like 5 times, huged then kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me, he promises cuz i told him how many times i got fucked over speacially by the word, i love you. But i know he cares about me, and I belive he loves me. Hes so differnt then any guy around. He makes me so happpy. and if my friends get mad at me for hanging out w/ him alot then w/e, He makes me happy so you guys should be happy too i haven't been this happy in awhile. But its not like im only going to hang out w/ him b-cuz then i wouldn't want us to get sick of each other even tho i don't think i could get sick of him. but ya never know...but I love Kyle<3  and i won't see him intill Wed. =( I hope hes here saturday, my mom asked if i wanted to go to a bbq w/ her and the syko, and joe nd nikki.. and invite Kyle, either saturday or sunday depending on the weather. But i hope hes here saturday no matter if i go w/ them or not cuz ill be home alone pretty much all day. =) so it would b great to have him come over. and cuddle on the couch and fall asleep. and not have my dad yell at me or bother me, cuz he told me i can't lay on the couch w/ him, im like fuck that! im going to anyways! thats so gay. i swear! but w/e..

omfg school starts in like a week, and thats so gay. I do not want to go. and I hope kyle gets to lives w/ his dad but i don't think thats going to happen which i won't get to see him much, which sucks. cuz if he don't live w/ his dad then hes going to be living by oakland mall. but at least i have my licens.

Well hmm..

I want to kiss Kyle so bad, but im scared. =/ i don't think im ever going to. ahhhhhhhhhhh

I love you Kyle Joshua Schwarts<3

♥Stop me and steal my breath

<3 [August 24 2005]
[ mood | happy ]

I think im fallen in love with you <333

Kyle your more then i could ask for, you make me so happy. and im so lucky to have you, Ive been hurt to many times in the past but i know you won't ever hurt me in anyway. I love everything about you, the way you look at me, the way it will be all quiet then you do something very random and you could make me laugh at anytime. You make me smile where i never stop all day. Ill be depressed but then you brighten up my day. When im with you, I forget bout everything thats been going on. You make me feel like everything will be okay. You make me feel like im so important. You make me feel beautiful<3 I love when you sing to me, and when you write me songs/poems. No one has ever made me feel this speacial. and Im so lucky that i have you.. Words can't even describe my feelings, and the weird part is i haven't known you long but it feels like ive known you forever. which is the most greatest part. And i kno that your allways there for me and i could talk to you bout anything, I could talk to you more then my friends sometimes,cuz you try to understand, and you no what im going through. and Im going to try to ALLWAYS be there for you. I care about you so much, and i never want to lose you. Your in my heart<3 _August 2nd, 2005_I<3YOU.

So as you see, Everything has been great with me and Kyle. I couldn't be happier when im with him.

Sunday was the first time i seen him in a week, and it was great.

But Sunday i got home from camping around 1, yea it was sweeeet went to Michigan Adventures Saturday, goosh whata good time. Then the best part was saturday night ive been waitin for that fone call, Kyle called and he sang to me a song he wrote me. anyways, then i talked to Kristi!! who i haven't talked to sence 7th grade! and i hung out w/ her sunday. it was cool, i usto b best friends w/ her. Thenn i waited for kyle to call me which wasn't intill like 9, and finally got to see him after a week!

Monday- I went to the movies w/ kt,John and Kyle<3 and was at kyles at night intill 12.

Today(tuesday)- Kyle came over my house for once, and we watched 1/2 of a movie, and then cheaper by the dozen and cuddled on the couch<3 which i love. then he had to leave at 9, so i drove him home then picked up Amy just for a few sence i haven't talked to her in awhile. but drove her back before 10 cuz Real World! was on, thenn i was gonna go back to Kyles but i had a headace, well then me and kyle talked awhile on the computer then around 12 i drove over his house just to give him a hug. cuz i missed him and i needed that, we huged for awhile. and he wanted to kiss me, but im so scared. I don't no why. but he understands, which is another reason why i love him so much, i kno he won't break up w/ me b-cuz i wont' kiss him! thats just retarted if he did. so now i smell like him<3 =] and now i think im going to go to bed.

Probally hanging out w/ him the rest of the week.

Tommarrow- hanging out w/ him in the afternoonish, but then hes going to a baseball game, which my father is going to.

Thursday- omfg i have to go to school, blahh i hate school. but then im hanging out w/ my cousin. yay i love her.

then im not sure what im doin the rest of the weekend. Probally hangin w/ kyle intill he leaves and goes back to his moms. =(

I heart you Kyle so much<33



♥Stop me and steal my breath

amazing summer. [August 15 2005]
[ mood | tired ]

this summer has been one of the most bestest summers. sooo many things happend..... the only part that sucked is i can't go upnorth anymore. and it was so much fun up there..

  • It was beautiful outside pretty much everyday.
  • I got to go swimming tons of times, got a pretty nice tan.
  • I got my braces off. woo hoo
  • I went to the warped tour
  • Me & the guuurls went cruzin every weekend, Friday. .Saturday and Sunday. I hung out w/ themm allooot!
  • I got my licens.
  • and i met the greatest guy ever. and im over all the other guys..
  • and sooo much more sweeeet stuff.

I did so much this summer. Last summer all i did was go upnorth for a week.. the rest of time i just sat around the house. and did nothing pretty much. but this summer i have so many memorys. its greeeat<3

Summer o5' the best one yet. =] won't ever forget.

So one of the most amazing days with my wonderful boyfriend.

Friday 8/12- well i woke up really early so katie can do my hair/makeup, then had to drive her to work. but i got ready early....cuz that day i went to a wedding. and i wanted to show all my family how pretty i looked. I was so extremely nervous to go to see what Kyle would think. but Ash & her boyfriend took me. we didn't get there intill like 630.. my stomach hurt so bad i was so nervous. but then i seen him walkin towards me and my heart just droped. and he was like "wow" im speechless, *that made me very happy* he was like "you look really beautiful". =] Finally got that over with though. then it was time to eat which i didn't, and it was funny. we sat with Ashs brother Sean and he said  i wouldn't eat cuz i didn't want to eat in front of a guy. lol.. which is "kinda" true. But anyways..  I met alot of his family, which i kinda already knew cuz of Ashley. But Kyles dad came up to me and said hi lol, hes a really good looking older man. lol =p  ANYWAYS..  then the song "blessed the broken road" song came on, which is my favorite song. but it was only the bride and groom. *.. i think im going to have that song as my wedding song when i get married lol..* or *.. Edwin Mccain-I could not ask for more..* I love this song. Its in myspace profile is you want to listen to it.   both of those songs remind me of how i feel about Kyle. <3 so anyways once everyone got to dance he draged me to go dance, I wanted Ash & Mike to dance.. blahh but they didn't. so i danced 2 song w/ Kyle, and we danced next to the bride and groom.. and the groom was like, go a little bit lower and squeeze. lmfao which would be my ass. haha but he didn't, well not around them, he was tellin Ashley about it and he did it. Then around 10 I had to leave with Ashley cause her boyfriend was sick. But i felt sad, I didn't want to leave Kyle cuz he was going back to his moms. But im allways going to remember the way he looked at me when he first saw me. I loved it..  well, he looks at me alot like that.. and he allways tells me how beautiful i am w/ out make up and w/ out doing my hair. =] i am so extremly happy with him.

we've only been going out for almost 3 weeks, tommarrow will be 3 weeks. wow that so awesome. But i've never felt this way about someone so soon. well okay, i "thought" about it, i "thought" I was in love with Jeff, but i just thought he was so cute, and i just hate having no one in my life as a guy so could talk to my girls about..so i said i loved him. but i take it back... because he was sucha asshole to me. annd if NO ONE wanted him its like i was allways here waiting, but im done waiting. ah ive been done along timea go. and he ONLY talked to me if he was horny. .. well at first when i was in 9th grade, he was in 10th. everything was great. i remember coming home runnin right to the computer just to talk to him all night, which we did. and the times we hung out were cool.  But now he acts like he doesn't even know me, I think he thinks im obessed with him, which i kinda acted that way sometimes. just to get his attenion to see if he'd really tell me how he feels. But one day he'll be sorry for everr treating me the way he did. =]  Blahh I don't care. I have Kyle now and could NEVER be happier. I just hope my friends dont' think there losin me to him, trust me guys you never will. I know how it is losen your friends to guys.


Today i've been up sence 7am.. i had to drive katie and her mom to work. blahh and couldn't go back to sleep.. so got home went on the computer for awhile.. then ate a bagel.. thenn Kyle called me at like 12 something. hes coming back in a week, next Monday. yay

I can't wait intill Friday. im going camping w/ my sissy,joe and katie intill sunday..   and Saturday i hope its beautiful out, im going to MICHIGAN ADVENTURES. WOOHOOOO! haha can't wait, its gonna b so much fun.

Gosh im so tired, So i think im gonna go take a lil nap, thenn get up.. clean a little bit then take a shower.. and do whatever.. I don't know.

Ill update probally sometime soon. even though no one reads this any more lol..      


I heart you Kyle Joshua Schwarts.<3 XoXo


♥Stop me and steal my breath

[August 11 2005]
[ mood | happy ]

new layout. what do you think? I think its cuute, but i don't no if im gonna keep it. But for now, it will do. and Its a song. one of the bestest songs, Ill be- by Edwin McCain. I think thats how you spell his name.

Anyways things have been so great.

I haven't seen Kyle in like a week cuz he was at his moms, BUUUT.. he came down here today cuz hes going to a wedding, which i think im going to. which its Friday. Anyways i was soo happy i got to see him. =)

Today i drove so much omgosh. lol...well woke up around 12, did really nothing, got ready at 2, waited for Ash to call me.. and was on the fone w/ Kyle.. then went to pick up Ash after she called, thenn me and Ash went to pick up Kt from work at 21 and gratiot. lol yeaa.. then came home for a few, and then around 6 went to the dry cleaners for my dad, then to my moms at 16 mile to get some foood that she made me.. then back home to eat it, then Kyle called me once he got home =)... droped Kt off at her aunts, picked up Kyle thenn went to my sisters house back to 16 mile... lol.. yea so he got to meet my sister and her b/f...thenn left at like 9 er so.. thenn went to the park w/ Kyle by his house. for a few, then went to his house.. and helped do some stuff for the wedding his aunts and grandmas were over. lol.. yeaa and then just watched tv. and went home at 11 and now im here.

Yesterday- wow yea.. i drove alot yesterday too lol.. went allway to oakland.. then to universal to get free food from Kts cousin Amanda who works somewhere there. lol yeaa got pretty lost finding my way around, ran a red light.. OPPS. lmfao! it was hilarous tho.. but thankfully no cars where coming. and almost died a few times..stupid cars w/ stupid drivers. lmfao gooosh i hate ppl.. they are so dumb and can't drive. ANYWAYS.. after that went to Gross point to see some old buddys who i haven't seen in 2 yrs.. we first seen Jamal, thenn went across the street and seen Robert.. but the day before taht, we seen Rob for a sec.. thennn seen my bestest buddy SNYDER!!!.. and we seen Karl. yea it was sooo werid seening everybody, i remember the fiiiirst day i seen them, Me and Katie.. are stupid rode r bikes to Harper woods which is like right next to 8mile. lol.. wow i was only 14.. and now im back at 16 driving a car. haha NEWAYS.... yea Robs b-day is Sunday and omg hes gonna b 19.. thats crazzzy, and everybody else will b 19 in like October/november, thats soo effin crazy. I talked to alot of older ppl.. haha but my b/f is younger. oh well.. after that.. we went to see one of my xb/fs Mike.... it feels weird seening everyone that i haven't seen. and they day before that i seen my old best friend Taylor who i have known my whole life.. and i went over her house and seen her little sisters and brother which was super weird, i known them sence they were babies, they are all grown up its crazy, little jordan whos 11 now.. IS NOT A VIRGIN WTF!!! omg.. and she lost it too a 14 yr old. but shes gotten really pretty. and little Mckenzie who i still think of as a little kid who can't talk. shes like 9 now.. and shes fat and ugly (not to b mean) lol and her little brother who i keep thinking he can't even walk, hes 6.. and can talk really good. and im like hi robert, hes like how do you remember my name. im like aww ive known you for like ever. how coudl i forget... Gosh people change so fast. but it was greeeat seeing everyone!

Yeaaa this is a looong entry i guess, which no one ever reads it. but im bored as heck...

But im talking to my hun Kyle<3 =) I like him sooo much. I am so happy. I never want to stop smiling =)

I can't wait intill 8/20- Going Camping.. MICHIGAN ADVENTURES! YAY!!! for the weekend! woop woop.



2 ♥Stop me and steal my breath

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